A week in mild amusement

Something a little different this week. In honour of St. Patrick’s day occurring roughly four months ago (a tenuous link, I know) I’m going full poet. I’m going to attempt to express each of this week’s mildly amusing stories in the form of the greatest incarnation of literature: the limerick.  An AABBA folk poem structure which I’ve placed a top-drawer example of below.

And yes I’m aware we all just made the same joke in our heads about AABBA.  Here goes literally nothing.

Trump’s visit to Europe

There once was a country named Blighty

Visited by a Prez most unsightly

But Brits all filled the streets

He surely soiled his sheets

And balled-up his tiny fists tightly.

 

Donald Trump is an orange buffoon

A butterfly before the cocoon

He blocked off the Queen

He tweets really mean

But was scared out of London by a balloon.

 

Donnie met up with Vlad Putin

Revealing for just who he is rooting

But like the state of his hair

He doesn’t seem to care

Like republicans after a school shooting.

Morgan’s ‘interview’ with Trump

There once was a ‘journalist’ called Piers

The most hated man in Britain for years

Still he writes loads of pieces

But his nose smells like faeces

From burying his head in fascists’ rears.

The World Cup

A football team from France won the day

Of a tournament, they excellently did play

England sobbed out a moan

Football’s not coming home

Like so many, it’s been stopped at Calais.

 

Scottish tweets blasted England’s lack of a win

Turns out England fans have very thin skin

A light bit of patter

Turned into a diplomatic matter

They cried like a Croatian had kicked them in the shin.

Tesla Twitter tantrum

There was a billionaire named Elon Musk

Whose reputation became a bit of a husk

Tried to save those Thai teens

Turned up with his submarine

Which was about as useful as sun-cream at dusk.

 

Elon’s not your average CEO

Got mad when the experts told him no

He exploded on Twitter

Talking right out of his s***ter

Calling a hero a ‘pedo’.

 

I’d like to know what you think

I’m throwing in the kitchen sink

If you liked this experiment

Or are angry and want to vent

You can find last week’s news at this link.