An Ode to Couples

Yes, ’tis the day when couples rejoice, and single people take advantage of the chocolate on sale. We’ve come up with a little list of various couples you may encounter, should you happen upon them out and about, or Lord forbid you agreed to double date. Let’s do this.

Flashy – Flashing lights, expensive gifts and the best alcohol a couple with this much cash can buy. These couples live for the limelight in the relationship. They spend all day catering to each other’s incredibly large egos, and wandering around expensive cafes and shops.

Quiet – While they might have hectic lives away from each other, these couples cherish the long comfortable silences with each other. Reading, TV, and just generally enjoying each other’s company; it doesn’t get much better than this.

Outgoing – Different to outdoorsy, these couples love to be out and about during Valentine’s day. Not to the extent of Flashy, but a few little indie shops here, a lovely trip to a coffee place or a wander around some of the local area’s nicest parks and walks; nothing too rigorous.

Outdoorsy – Walks through woods, or at parks, you’ll find these couples at home when they’re away from it. Fresh air is the perfect opportunity to chat, especially for young couples. Means you can get to know each other a bit, and decide if you’re compatible.

Hipster – Whether they want to admit it or not, these two are as hipster as it gets. They liked all the cool indie places before they were popular. They will talk about their times watching independent documentaries, and they will no doubt both be wearing skinny jeans and a puff ball hat.

Sickeningly Cute – You love to hate them, because they’re too flipping perfect for each other. They hold hands in public, and the way they move around each other fills you with determination, and the urge to pry them apart because you will never be as happy as these two angels, is all too real. Damnit.

Problematic – You’ll hear them before you see them. They scream and shout in public when something doesn’t go right, they’ll complain in a restaurant if they don’t serve a particular thing. Best to avoid people like this; only trouble will ensue, and that’s not the kind of joo-joo you want surrounding your perfect Valentine’s.

The Reluctant Ones – one of them is incredibly grumpy the entire time, but secretly enjoys it, while the other loves every minute of the sop fest that is Valentine’s Day.

Sporty – How do these people exist? They get up early for a run, and then hit the gym as a duo. They’re all about healthy eating, and nothing says I love you like a salad. But remember, salad is two letters away from sad. Just something to think about.

Food is Life – Last but certainly not least, probably the category most of us would fit comfortably. Whether it’s out and about stuffing our faces, or it’s at home, ordering take-away, nothing says stay with me forever quite like a Domino’s pepperoni passion with jalapenos and stuffed crust. Literal Heaven.

So, there we have it. Which couple are you? Or are you a blend of them all? Either way, happy Valentine’s Day!