Film review: Godzilla: King of the Monsters

12th June 2019

Of all the attempted cinematic universes trying to copy Marvel, who would have thought Godzilla and King Kong would be the ones to succeed. Godzilla: King of the Monsters is the sequel to the 2014 Godzilla movie which everyone either thought was great or boring. I thought it was both. This time around, it stars […]

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Film reviews: Aladdin, Rocketman & Brightburn

6th June 2019

It’s been a busy week for me. I’ve seen four movies, only one of which I feel I can actually talk about for any length of article. So I thought, I’d save myself the stretching and do some quick-fire reviews for the first three. Aladdin Aladdin is the latest live-action remake of a classic Disney […]

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Film review: John Wick 3: Parabellum

24th May 2019

The film that I will never be able to stop accidentally calling ‘perineum’. John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum, henceforth referred to as John Wick 3, is a direct sequel to the first two action movies that revitalized Keanu Reeves’ blockbuster career. It follows the titular assassin as he is forced out of his shadowy hitman […]

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Film review: Pokémon Detective Pikachu

16th May 2019

Well, at least now I know what all the non-Marvel fans felt like walking out of Endgame. Pokémon Detective Pikachu is a noir/comedy detective story based on the universe of the eponymous games. It stars Justice Smith as disappointingly blandly named Tim Goodman, a disaffected youth with a troubled relationship with his father. It also […]

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Film review: Avengers: Endgame

26th April 2019

Aah 2019. I knew you’d come around eventually. Avengers: Endgame is the 22nd film in the MCU and, in effect, does exactly what it says on the tin. It concludes the story we started in 2008 with an AC/DC backed Tony Stark, back when Christian Bale was still Batman and Barack Obama became president. It […]

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Film review: Hellboy

19th April 2019

Oh dear 2019. You aren’t doing brilliantly are you. Hellboy is a reboot of the franchise from the mid-2000s and an adaptation of the comics of the same name. It stars Stranger Things‘ David Harbour as the demon who fights for the US government against paranormal threats. And it’s not very good. I’m in three […]

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Film review: Shazam!

16th April 2019

Is it just me that feels a bit weird about films having punctuation in their title? I can accept a colon. But that’s my limit. Shazam! (see, it’s weird, right?) is the latest film from DC and Warner Brothers. It stars Asher Angel as Billy Batson, a 14-year-old who gains the ability to transform into […]

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3 Trilogy endings that aren’t actually that bad

13th April 2019

Hollywood ruddy loves a trilogy. It’s a cool word that people remember the meaning of. Think you know what a four movie series is called? A quadrilogy right? Wrong. It’s a tetralogy and honestly who has time to remember that. Second off, two is the smallest number needed to establish a pattern and so the […]

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Film review: Dumbo

6th April 2019

Look, Disney. I’ve been sort of guiltily fine with the sinister monopoly you’re establishing in Hollywood. But that was when you were making good stuff. Out of the three live-action remakes, Disney is giving us this year, 1941’s Dumbo makes the most sense to make. Firstly, it’s much much older than either Aladdin or The […]

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Film review: Us

28th March 2019

Listen, the movie’s great but can we stop with minimalist titles? If I text my girlfriend saying that I want to talk about Us, it sends the wrong message Jordan mate. Us is the second directed film from Jordan Peele, director of Get Out and fair warning, Get Out‘s shadow looms heavy over this review. […]

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Film review: Captain Marvel

14th March 2019

Let’s be honest, if I was going to turn on Marvel at any point, it wasn’t going to be this movie. Captain Marvel is the newest and most easily branded movie for Marvel Studios. It stars Brie Larson as the titular space soldier/superman surrogate. In it, she must prevent 1990s Earth from an invasion by […]

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Every Oscar movie reviewed in a sentence

24th February 2019

The Oscars ceremony takes place this Sunday – click here for my predictions – and thankfully I’ve finished my homework in record time. Rather than boring everyone with a rapidly produced series of lukewarm 300-word reviews, I found this alternative. So you’re welcome. I’ve tried to pack as much detail as I could into these […]

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Film Review: Green Book

11th February 2019

“So if I’m not black enough and if I’m not white enough, then tell me what am I?” Peter Farrelly’s ‘Green Book’ is inspired by the true story of Dr. Don Shirley – a black American classical pianist – who hires Tony “Lip” Vallelonga as his driver and bodyguard for a concert tour of the […]

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Mother of victim (left), Jan (victim - middle) and father of victim (right).

Response to Abducted in Plain Sight

6th February 2019

After watching Abducted in Plain Sight, it seems that a normal review will not reflect how this one-part documentary has affected all those who’ve seen it. In an attempt to do it justice, we have reviewed not only the film itself but people’s response to this truly unforgettable story. Bizarre, disturbing and downright sick Just […]

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Film review: Glass

2nd February 2019

I mean someone’s done every ‘glass half empty’ joke by this point, hasn’t it? Glass is the sequel to 2016’s Split which was a shadow sequel to 2000’s Unbreakable. Series creator M. Night Shyamalan directs and it is the story of the three main characters from the first two movies meeting in an insane asylum. […]

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Were There Black People in Tudor England?

1st February 2019

‘Mary Queen of Scots’ recently stood out by casting a black actor (Adrian Lester) in the role of Queen Elizabeth’s Ambassador to Scotland. “I was really clear, I would not direct an all-white period drama,” said director Josie Rourke. Whilst it can’t be doubted that Lester, an accomplished star of stage and screen, played the part […]

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Glass For beginners

29th January 2019

Well this franchise snuck under the radar, didn’t it? You could be forgiven for being unaware that Glass is the 2nd in a trilogy at all. Director M. Night Shyamalan sneakily shoehorned the 2016 movie Split into being a sequel to his film Unbreakable from 16 years earlier. Which is where I come in to painstakingly […]

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Film Review: Mary Queen of Scots

24th January 2019

Mary Queen of Scots chronicles the notorious rivalry between Elizabeth I of England and Mary, Queen of Scotland, which culminated with the Scottish claimant to the English throne beheaded after being found to be implicated in a plot to kill Elizabeth. The cinematic production takes an invariably feminist view of history, portraying two strong-willed women […]

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Film Review: Colette

23rd January 2019

“The hand that holds the pen writes history” is a powerful turn of phrase that crops up often in Wash Westmoreland’s literary biopic, Colette. It’s originally a means to reassure the titular characters concerns about being liberal, with the truth in her semi-autobiographical novels, but eventually comes to signify her perpetual quest for recognition as […]

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Oscars 2019 Nominations Announced

23rd January 2019

And they’re off! The morbid list of films I’m now going to force myself to sit through is now online. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I sort of hate the Oscars but at the same time, I’m weirdly fascinated by them. So let’s see if there are any real surprises in the […]

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Queen: What happened to John Deacon?

9th January 2019

Having been royally entertained by the epic Queen biopic ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ all my mother could do was apologise to me. Apologise that I wasn’t alive to experience their outrageous live concerts during the high times of the 1980s. Exuberant on stage, the private lives of the bandmates were just as colourful, although they were masters […]

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Film review: Bumblebee

5th January 2019

We finally did it, folks. We finally collectively stopped supporting the Transformers franchise with our money. Shame we did it with the first good one. Bumblebee is a spin-off/prequel/potential reboot of the Transformers movies. I say potential because this film ignores and actively contradicts the events of those films, however so does each successive entry […]

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Film review: Aquaman

4th January 2019

Hey did anyone else see Black Panther? Because DC did. Aquaman is the latest effort from Warner Bros to cash in on their DC characters. James Wan of Fast and Furious fame directs and Jason Momoa stars as the titular king. In this film, Aquaman must unite the seven sea kingdoms by finding a magical […]

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Film review: Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse

19th December 2018

Well, folks, when mid-December arrived, I thought my 2018 top ten was basically locked-in. How wrong I was. Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse is an animated movie from Sony. I know, I thought the same thing. It features Miles Morales, a young man who involves himself in an inter-dimensional adventure with different versions of Spider-man from […]

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Why we need the Grinch more than Jesus

18th December 2018

Mediocre recent adaptations aside, I really like the story of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. It’s a fable of the dangers of self-isolation, superiority complexes and shunning joy. The Grinch is a symbol equalling Ebenezer Scrooge in cultural ubiquity during December. And he’s better than Scrooge. Because he’s green and looks better on an ironic Christmas […]

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A tweak in mild amusement

10th December 2018

I dunno about you, I feel like I’ve been away a long time. I was beginning to feel a semblance of happiness before I committed to staring down this week’s ‘amusing’ news. But with my mental wellbeing returned to a satisfactorily trudging internal scowl, let’s dive in. Serkis act If Theresa May just released a […]

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Film review: Creed 2

3rd December 2018

Toxic masculinity: The movie stars Michael B. Jordan, Sylvester Stallone and Dolph Lundgren and it’s bloody fantastic. Creed 2 is a sequel to both 2016’s amazing Creed and also to 1985’s Rocky IV. It features the return of the latter film’s antagonist Ivan Drago, who killed Adonis Creed’s father Apollo, with his monstrous son Viktor. […]

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A beginners guide to… Creed

1st December 2018

It occurred to me when excitedly explaining the premise for Creed 2 that unthinkably, some people haven’t seen Rocky IV. Now, I’m a man who believes that Creed is enjoyable without having seen any previous movies. That said, I also recognise that a film assuming knowledge can be a tad distracting. So despite this series being […]

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Film review: Robin Hood

28th November 2018

Hey, I didn’t know we were getting a remake of Batman Begins this year. How come no one told me? Except now Bruce Wayne is calling himself Robin of Loxley and Ra’s al Ghul is Arthur from Peaky Blinders. Robin Hood is 2018’s version of that King Arthur movie from last year, in that, I’ll […]

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Film review: Fantastic Beasts – The Crimes of Grindelwald

21st November 2018

I wasn’t going to write this review. Someone else was going to have to cover this because I doubted my ability to think objectively due to my deep unconditional love of all things Harry Potter. I needn’t have worried about that. Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald is the sequel to 2016’s Fantastic Beasts and Where […]

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Film review: The Grinch

16th November 2018

Kudos to the genius who had the idea to release a film about a being who hates Christmas in November. That’s a finger on the zeitgeist right there. The Grinch is the latest 86-minute adaptation of a 69-page children’s book. It depicts Benedict Cumberbatch’s Grinch as he plans his dastardly scheme while Whoville prepares for Christmas. […]

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Stan Lee

Stan Lee: The Real Marvel

14th November 2018

Stan Lee was born Stanley Martin Lieber, on 28th December 1922 in the Big Apple. New York City. Home to a number of now well-known heroes like; Spider-Man, Daredevil, the Fantastic Four, and was the birthplace of Captain America (in Brooklyn). It serves as a hub for many of his stories. With different heroes crossing […]

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Four pop stars who deserve a movie biopic

12th November 2018

Bohemian Rhapsody depicts the career of the rock band Queen and, more specifically, the life of Freddie Mercury. This got me thinking, which pop stars of the modern day should receive the same treatment in 20 years? Here are our contemporary picks. Ariana Grande For better or worse, this music megastar has had an incredible […]

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Film Review: Bohemian Rhapsody

12th November 2018

5/5 Generally speaking, biopics about iconic music figures long after they’ve passed away never do them justice. That’s why the usual gods of music are mostly left alone nowadays when it comes to biopics. You don’t see ones about Whitney Houston, Prince or Michael Jackson. However, this year’s Bohemian Rhapsody biopic about the legendary Queen […]

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Film review: Halloween (2018)

3rd November 2018

It’s finally over. My self-imposed curse of watching every Halloween film is done. The main thing I’ve realised is that I’m not so much a fan of Halloween as much as a fan of the main theme. Halloween is the third film in the Halloween franchise named Halloween… Halloween. It concerns the re-escape of serial […]

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4 budget halloween costumes

31st October 2018

It’s the designated spookiest time of the year. And Halloween parties are near unavoidable. No one wants to be that person who constantly receives grief for their lack of costume. Not to worry though, your old uncle Kieran is here to help with a few costume ideas that won’t break the teeteringly fragile bank. Shaun […]

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A beginners guide to… Halloween

20th October 2018

The Halloween series primarily focuses on serial killer Michael Myers and his would-be victim Laurie Strode. I’m going to do my best here to boil down the franchise into its bare essence. I sat through all ten films for this and that was like a part-time job in itself so by golly I’m gonna write […]

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Film review: Johnny English Strikes Again

18th October 2018

Have you ever sat in the cinema knowing that this is the final time you’ll ever watch the film? Well, now I have. Johnny English Strikes Again is the third instalment of a baffling franchise. I mean, I like the first one well enough but did we need a trilogy? It seems they just pick Johnny […]

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Four wizards who wasted magical abilities

13th October 2018

At some point, we’ve all wished we had magical powers. Well, the following individuals on this list were granted that dream and, as far as we’re concerned, squandered it. Consider the following magicians, wizards or sorcerers who majorly wasted their abilities. Gandalf (Lord of the Rings) The Fellowship of the Ring’s resident wizard, Gandalf is, […]

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A beginners guide to… Marvel films

11th October 2018

In the eighties/nineties, Marvel comics was on the verge of bankruptcy. They were kept afloat because they had the license to produce Star Wars comics but otherwise they were literally selling filing cabinets to stay in business. So for a bit of a cash boost, Marvel sold the film rights to their most valuable characters […]

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Film review: Venom

4th October 2018

Regular readers of these reviews may remember when I predicted how bad Solo: A Star Wars story was going to be. Then I ended up enjoying it and had to eat my words. Similarly, I’ve been saying how bad I thought Venom was going to be based on the trailers, plot and (chiefly) Sony. But […]

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A beginners guide to… Venom

29th September 2018

Sony’s Venom oozes into cinemas next Friday and so it’s time for a refresher course on a character whose image is as iconic as his previous adaptations have been botched. Venom As far as the actual character goes, Venom is a little complicated. He’s part of an alien race called Symbiotes. These creatures are basically […]

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Film review: A Simple Favor

27th September 2018

Or is it favour? It’s an American film so I guess I’ll stoop to that unsettling spelling. A Simple Favour is the latest attempt to do Gone Girl again after The Girl on the Train failed. It’s directed by Paul Feig and stars Anna Kendrick while she searches for her missing friend Blake Lively. Along the way, […]

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Film review: The Predator

17th September 2018

What is it with studios and the word ‘the’ nowadays? You reckon that’s really gonna adequately distinguish this movie from 1987’s Predator? The Predator is the fourth film in the franchise of the same name (not counting Alien vs Predator). It stars one of the villains from Logan and one of the villains from X-Men: […]

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The Predator for beginners

15th September 2018

With the newest film in the Predator franchise out, it occurred to me that people might require a refresher course on the series. So I’m going to do my best to explain just what their whole deal is. That way, anyone who’s interested can go in studied up with all the knowledge they need to […]

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Four worst fictional holiday destinations

3rd September 2018

I’m aware that the majority of you are just coming to the end of your holidays and packing bags for school/uni. I, however, I have completed my MA this morning and, rather than celebrate this, I felt I’d waste your time with 500 words or so. I’m looking through travel mags and airline sites to […]

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Film review: The Festival

1st September 2018

Wow. Bet the marketing team took the Friday off when they thought-up of the name for this one. The Festival is a mercifully short comedy film directed by Inbetweeners writer Iain Morris. It stars Joe Thomas as he attempts to get over his ex-girlfriend at an unnamed (clearly Leeds Fest) festival. And it’s not very […]

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Film review: Slender Man

28th August 2018

Here it is. For your viewing pleasure, the most anticipated video game movie of 2013. This won’t take long. Slender Man is a steaming pile of hot garbage masquerading as a half-hearted cash grab to capitalise on a meme from half a decade ago. It features a cast of twenty-somethings poorly acting as teenagers who are attempting […]

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4 best pop-culture misanthropes

24th August 2018

After going to see Christopher Robin this weekend, it struck me how much I enjoyed the character of Eeyore. The idea of a perpetually gloomy pessimist, I realised, is one of my favourite archetypes. We’re all hit by moments when we can’t be bothered with people and a misanthropic grump is a great vicarious antidote. Here are […]

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Film review: The Meg

16th August 2018

I was more excited about this film than I was for Infinity War. It’s a shark, but it’s really big. It’s so stupid it couldn’t possibly be anything less than hilarious. The Meg is the latest film that will try to convince you that you’re watching Jaws. Sidenote: Does anyone else think it’s weird that […]

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