Theresa May gives defiant Brexit statement

21st September 2018

Prime Minister Theresa May has given a statement on the Brexit negotiations inside Number 10 this afternoon in which she gave a strong message to the EU. The statement follows talks with the EU yesterday in Salzburg which seemingly fell apart after they rejected her Chequers proposal. In Chequers, the blueprint given by the PM […]

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A week in wild bemusement

20th September 2018

Toad in the hole Let’s talk about Stormy Daniels. Now, I could spend this whole section droning on about the lewd descriptions she gave this week about Donald Trump’s genitals… so I’m going to. Apologies for the imagery some of this may bestow in your mind. Frequently repeated is her depiction of Donnie’s penis as […]

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Premier League Roundup – Week Five

16th September 2018

International breaks often come at unwelcome times, just as the season was beginning to take shape and teams were starting to show their potential (or lack of) for the season ahead. Week 5 has left Manuel Pellegrini as the most relieved man in sports as West Ham ended their abominable run with a 3-1 victory […]

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BEEP REWIND: Roald Dahl’s Top Five Characters

14th September 2018

As September marks the birth month of one of children’s literature’s most influential authors, thousands of parents and their sons and daughters will be celebrating Roald Dahl Day. Each year, Dahl’s birthday is celebrated with a ‘wonderful array of events’ according to the official website, including a party at the Roald Dahl Museum in Great […]

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Sajid Javid rejects aborition buffer zones

13th September 2018

In a surprise move today the Home Secretary has announced that he will not be introducing protest buffer zones outside of abortion clinics. It was widely accepted that said zones, which would prevent pro-life campaigners from protesting within 100 metres of clinics, would be introduced by the government after former home secretary Amber Rudd had […]

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Skripal suspects: “We were just tourists”

13th September 2018

Following a week of speculation and accusation surrounding the two main suspects in the poisoning of the Skripals in Salisbury, the pair has come forward in an attempt to clear their name. Speaking to Russian state-backed TV channel Russia Today (RT), Alexander Petrov and Ruslan Boshirov said they visited the town of Salisbury as tourists […]

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A week in mild amusement

12th September 2018

Entering the single market So Boris Johnson’s getting a divorce. He and his wife are separating after 25 years. While she can no longer live in his house, he does expect her to cook, clean and allow low tariff imports for no benefit. Drawing comparisons with Johnson’s own separation and Brexit is obviously fun but not […]

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Tweets by Russian trolls cited in UK news articles

10th September 2018

A Guardian investigation has found that the tweets of Russian troll accounts have been cited in over one hundred UK news articles. The tweets were included in stories about US president Donald Trump, Donald Glover and Lena Dunham by the British press. The investigation used the details of 1,000 accounts listed as Russian trolls by […]

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Salisbury suspects warned by UK

9th September 2018

Following the revelation last week that two suspects involved in the Salisbury spy poisoning incident have been identified, the Home Secretary has warned they will be prosecuted if they ever step foot outside of Russia. Speaking on Sunday on The Andrew Marr Show, Sajid Javid said that “if they [the suspects] ever step foot out […]

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A week in mild amusement

6th September 2018

Olympic Games The President of the International Olympic Committee says esports are too violent to be part of the Olympics. Thomas Bach, who won an Olympic gold in fencing, says the games promote violence. Unlike fencing, of course. Real life sword-fighting is far less violent than pressing X to delete CGI robots on a screen. […]

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Moves to make misogyny a hate crime

5th September 2018

In the wake of the ‘Me Too’ movement and wider public debates surrounding sexual assault, tampon taxes, period poverty and many issues affecting women all around the world, Labour MP Stella Creasy is attempting to make misogyny a hate crime in England. Misogyny, the hatred and prejudice against women, is often believed to be the […]

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How to Pass Your Driving Test – First Time

4th September 2018

How to Pass Your Driving Test – First Time Don’t let other people make you nervous; Leading up to my driving test I heard all manner of complaints from friends who had recently failed their practical test. ‘It was the sat-navs fault’, ‘my examiner had failed me even before we set off’. Contrary to popular […]

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Alex Salmond Resigns From the SNP

1st September 2018

Alex Salmond, former Scottish First Minister and one of the principal advocates of Scottish Independence, has resigned from the Scottish National Party after 45 years. Salmond, who led the SNP for 20 years, has said his resignation is a temporary measure whilst he attempts to distance himself from sexual misconduct allegations which emerged last week. […]

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Plastic Bag Charge to Double

27th August 2018

If you thought 5p for something that was completely free three years ago was a bit steep, you’re not going to be thrilled about the latest announcement. Environment Secretary Michael Gove has approved plans which will force nearly all retailers to charge 10p for plastic carrier bags. Currently, ‘small’ shops with less than 250 employees […]

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A week in mild amusement

22nd August 2018

Level up It was A-level results day for students all across the country this week. The length and breadth of Britain, there were some teens taking to Twitter to express their joy, and others taking to vodka to express their disappointment… and also their joy. For those directly involved it can seem like the most […]

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Are ‘Dumb Phones’ Making a Comeback?

21st August 2018

When we imagine what smartphones will look like in the future, we tend to think of wireless chargers and holograms. Smartphones have become so addictive that the average iPhone user unlocks their phone 80 times a day. However new data has shown that consumers are beginning to choose simple phones that can only text and […]

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A week in mild amusement

15th August 2018

Berk: A row Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson (better known as Boris) caused a stir this week when he compared women wearing the burqa to ‘letterbox[es]’. Proving, once again, that no one in this country knows what a burqa is. A burqa has a full face covering. What Boris is referring to is a niqab. […]

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The damage of extreme heat

13th August 2018

This summer has been exceptionally hot in the UK and countless warnings have been issued about the dangers of hot cars. In mid 20 degree heat, cars can reach temperatures of over 48 degrees. Most of these hot car warnings have informed us about the deadly consequence of leaving babies and dogs inside but nothing […]

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Premier League Roundup – Week One

13th August 2018

Premier League Roundup – Week One Ladies and Gentlemen….   The Premier League is back! The 2018/19 season opened on Friday evening as Jose Mourinho overcame his transfer window blues with a 2-1 triumph over Leicester. It took all of three minutes for the first penalty to be awarded, confidently buried by World Cup winner […]

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Interrail Pass: Worth It?

9th August 2018

Many young people want to travel far and wide while they are still young – and for good reason. You’ve got to do things while you can, and travel is no different. One of the most common ways of travel is interrailing with the Interrail EU company, which allows you to travel on a whole […]

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Historical Northeast: Newcastle Untd FC (Part I)

8th August 2018

It’s that time of year again: the new football season is upon us. On Saturday 11th August 2018, Newcastle United will embark on its 86th season in the top flight of the English football pyramid. The first recorded football team to be based on Tyneside dates from 1877 at Elswick Rugby Club, though modern Newcastle […]

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A week in mild amusement

7th August 2018

*Editors note* Because Kieran is still in hiding from all the Welsh people he upset last week, he was unable to complete this week’s column. Luckily though, as he was bolting out the door holding facepaint and water-reeds, he managed to book a few guest writers. We think you’ll recognise a few big names here but […]

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Climate Change Destroying Internet

6th August 2018

A study published by the University of Madison, Wisconsin has found that it’s not only the physical environment that will be lost as a result of climate change but the entire Internet could be at stake. Rising sea levels will damage the underwater fibre optics cables which provide Internet connection to major US cities such as […]

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Barry Chuckle Dies Aged 73

5th August 2018

Entertainer and comedian Barry Chuckle has died aged 73 after a period of ill health. Barry Chuckle (left) with his brother Paul The star’s manager Phil Dale stated, “The family would like to express their thanks to the many people who have been fans of the Chuckle Brothers and they know that they will share […]

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Why did the sun vanish in Siberia?

2nd August 2018

In the UK, we might thank the sun for disappearing for a while seeing as we’ve tolerated a hot and sticky heatwave for the last month. However, a strange phenomenon in Siberia shows that it really is better that the sun does what it’s expected to. On the 20th of July, residents of Eveno-Bytantaisky and Zhigansky, […]

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A week in mild amusement

1st August 2018

Not so smartphones New research suggests that students who have smartphones in class achieve lower grades- even if they don’t use them. That’s right, the mere presence of laptops or phones is enough to divide your attention from course content. As a young lad, I believed that a phone in my pocket could affect my ability […]

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Instagram Rich List

31st July 2018

Reality star and entrepreneur Kylie Jenner takes the number one spot on the Instagram rich list. The new mother earns $1m for every post she creates on Instagram. The top ten spots on the rich list feature several predictable names such as Kim Kardashian and Justin Bieber. In 12th place comes ex England footballer David […]

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20 People Die From Fake News

30th July 2018

Fake news is a fairly new expression but one that has quickly become a frequent part of our everyday vocabulary. To many, fake news articles or fabricated videos and images can just be ignored and scrolled past but in some parts of the world, the reaction to fake news is very different. In India, group […]

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Kind Notes Save Lives

25th July 2018

An 18-year-old girl who left notes on Sunderland’s Wearmouth bridge has been presented with an award after her messages helped save six lives. Paige Hunter tied 40 notes to the railings of the bridge with uplifting messages intended for individuals in crisis. One of the notes read: “Even though things are difficult, your life matters; you’re […]

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A week in mild amusement

24th July 2018

Gunn control Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn was sacked by Disney for a series of bad jokes (and one good one) he made in 2009. Because that’s apparently a reasonable response. If we can be liable for idiotic things we said on Twitter in 2009 (and apologised for in 2012, by the way) […]

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Nelson Mandela’s 100th Birthday

18th July 2018

Today marks what would have been the 100th birthday of South African revolutionary Nelson Mandela. And, unbeknownst to me, he did more for us than just leaving us with a funky tune by The Specials. Mandela was famously imprisoned for 27 years before the public voted him President to end racism. It’s basically Donald Trump […]

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A week in mild amusement

18th July 2018

Something a little different this week. In honour of St. Patrick’s day occurring roughly four months ago (a tenuous link, I know) I’m going full poet. I’m going to attempt to express each of this week’s mildly amusing stories in the form of the greatest incarnation of literature: the limerick.  An AABBA folk poem structure which […]

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B**P REWIND: Supporting the mental health of pregnant women

16th July 2018

Two and a half years ago, we featured the story below. Yet only last week it was announced that a study from Bristol University has proven that depression and anxiety have risen dramatically amongst pregnant women. 25% of pregnant women under the age of 24 have high depressive symptoms. Let’s just hope that this money […]

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A week in mild amusement

12th July 2018

Booked for diving In an incident reminiscent of the 2010 story of the Chilean miners comes the 2018 story of the chilly young minors. 12 young boys and their football coach in Thailand have been rescued from an underwater cave they were trapped in for 17 days. The team is in such a weakened state […]

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Well That’s One Way To Transport a Cow…

10th July 2018

South Wales Police has launched an investigation after photos of a calf in the back of a Volkswagen Passat emerged on Facebook. Despite not being fully grown, a calf can still weigh up to 500kg making this a really dangerous load to transport in a car. Overloading a car can cause issues with braking and steering […]

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Is Bieber Engaged?

9th July 2018

It is usually painfully difficult to discover anything about Justin Bieber’s love life. The star ensures that the media can never be 100% certain about his relationship status or exactly who he is dating and if Selena Gomez is in the picture somehow. Well, supporters of #jelena will be devastated to know that Justin is […]

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Starbucks Employee Sacked

9th July 2018

Despite being crippling for sufferers, speech impediments are one of the few remaining disabilities that people are usually able to mock without consequence. Thankfully that looks to be changing as Starbucks fire an employee who made fun of a customer who stuttered while placing his order. The incident took place at a Philadelphia branch and […]

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Historical North East: Stephenson’s Rocket

5th July 2018

From June until September Newcastle Discovery Museum is hosting Rocket, one of the most renowned Steam Locomotives to ever journey on Britain’s railways. Though not the first steam locomotive, it resembled a culmination of years of engineering innovation and when completed was the most advanced steam locomotive of its day. Rocket was the brainchild of […]

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A week in mild amusement

3rd July 2018

Fridge geezer A South African woman is recovering in hospital after she was discovered alive in a mortuary fridge. Paramedics had declared her dead following a road accident. The ambulance company retains that she had shown ‘no signs of life’, which as a student, is more than can be said for some of the things […]

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GoT Star Says Celeb Cameos are ‘Stupid’

3rd July 2018

Actor Kristian Nairn, who played Hodor in Game of Thrones, said having famous people appear in the show is ‘stupid’. During the several seasons of the show, there have been dozens of musicians and bands appearing on screen. Kristian believes that having these modern well-known faces completely takes you out of the show. ‘I’m not a […]

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M. Night

First Poster for M. Night’s ‘Glass’

2nd July 2018

M. Night Shyamalan has shown the first poster for his upcoming movie, Glass. After directing Unbreakable and The Sixth Sense and The Village all around the start of the century, he became prolific for his plot twists. Some were done better than others, however, he stole the limelight again in 2016 with Split, starring James […]

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Cheryl and Liam announce split

It’s official – all over now

2nd July 2018

So it is official. Liam Payne and Cheryl have announced their break up via social media, the only way to announce to the world these days, that your relationship is over/someone has died/what you had for dinner – delete where applicable. The former X-Factor contestant and the former X-Factor judge were together long enough to […]

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‘Bag Rage’ Taking Over Australia

2nd July 2018

Despite Australia being home to the wondrous Great Barrier Reef which has endured years of pollution resulting in irreversible damage, some Australians seem quite reluctant to take measures to save the planet. (Polluted wildlife in the Great Barrier Reef) Major supermarket chains is all but two states will now be fined if they provide single-use […]

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Filled with More Than Helium

1st July 2018

There’s also the racism, sexism and general stupidity. People don’t like Trump, as any talk show or late-night show host would have you believe. But with the president’s visit just around the corner, the people of the UK want to show their appreciation of the orange buffoon with a huge balloon. Activist Leo Murray launched […]

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Dungeons Offering Redheads Free Entry

29th June 2018

Doesn’t get more British than this does it? With the UK basking in a heatwave currently, where better to spend it than underground in the Dungeons of Blackpool. Especially if you’re of the ginger disposition. No disrespect, heat can be troublesome when all you do is turn a bright shade of red. We’ve all been there. […]

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Ant-Man and the Wasp Review Roundup

29th June 2018

The first reviews for Ant-Man and the Wasp are rolling in before ahead of its release very soon. Starring Paul Rudd and Evangeline Lilly as the superhero duo as they take on an all-new villain. Many saw the first Ant-Man as a welcome breather from the slog that was Age of Ultron, which helped its […]

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DC

DC Streaming Service Details

28th June 2018

Since the announcement that DC would be creating its own streaming service, fans have wondered just what that would entail. In the past few months, details have been incredibly rare, aside from a few announcements of shows that would feature on the service. The company announced it would feature comics, movies and series’ on the […]

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Live Firearms Exercise Causes Fires

28th June 2018

Two grass fires at a military training area in Northumberland were caused by sparks from bullets, the Ministry of Defence has stated. The two fires, 15km apart, have been burning since Sunday in Otterburn. The area contains possible unexploded ordinance, so the Ministry has made no attempt to extinguish the fires yet. The fires, each […]

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Spain

Curing the Midweek Blues

28th June 2018

It’s not easy restoring ancient artworks. From tapestries to statues we as humans love preserving all of our old junk don’t we? Well, one town in Spain, famous for botching one restoration is back at it again. Well, one parish in Spain asked a local workshop to give their statue of St. George slaying the […]

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8am lectures..really?

28th June 2018

Students at Durham University are angry at plans that could require them to start at 8 am to attend lectures. To put it another way, an institution whose purpose is to prepare young people for work is asking those young people to get up at a fairly standard working time. To put it another way, Kieran […]

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