Draft Brexit deal: All you need to know

15th November 2018

It has been over eight hundred days since the UK voted to leave the European Union. Late yesterday evening, it was announced by Prime Minister Theresa May that the cabinet had finally agreed on a draft Brexit deal ahead of this country’s withdrawal from the Union in March next year. With over 500 pages of […]

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Review: They Shall Not Grow Old

15th November 2018

Peter Jackson’s ‘They Shall Not Grow Old’ makes for stirring television. It was public broadcasting at it’s finest designed to showcase the harrowing experiences of nearly six million Brits in a more intimate manner than ever before. Jackson’s film – four years in the making – was by no means a history of the first […]

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A leak in mild amusement

13th November 2018

Long may he rain It’s a new week and its AWIMA. You know what that means. Time to type Trump’s name into Google and see what he’s done this time. The US president has refused to attend a WW1 memorial service amidst poor weather conditions. The weather was described as ‘near-zero visibility’ so Donald opted […]

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Pacer Trains to Disappear

7th November 2018

If you live in the north of England you’ll no doubt be familiar with the much maligned, nodding donkey ‘Pacer’ trains. With the introduction of new rolling stock across the Northern Rail network, they are due to be phased out between the end of this year and the beginning of 2020. A saving grace for […]

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The Budget isn’t just for the Rich

3rd November 2018

Philip Hammond (a.k.a ‘Spreadsheet Phil’) has stood proudly with his red briefcase to deliver his annual budget across the dispatch box. Hammond had been facing political pressure from number 10 prior to his speech after the Prime Minister proudly announced ‘the end of austerity’ at the Conservative Party Conference. What can we take from this […]

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British singer Dua Lipa meets Blackpink, South Korean band

New Music: K-Pop Collabs

3rd November 2018

Not sure whether you’ve heard, but K-pop is becoming a worldwide phenomenon, with the likes of BTS making appearances on shows such as Ellen Degeneres, and collaborating with Nicki Minaj. However, this appears to be just the beginning, and we have a 2-for-1 deal for you right here. First up we have BLACKPINK or BLΛƆKPIИK, an emerging South […]

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A week in mild amusement

30th October 2018

Mail Aggression So some lunatic’s been sending pipe bombs through the US post. Cesar Sayoc is accused of mailing explosives to prominent Democrats and Trump critics. Honestly, I’m quite offended I didn’t get one. But then, I have switched address quite a lot recently. If there’s a smoking crater in Sandyford in the near future, […]

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Exploding Toilets

25th October 2018

Exploding toilets? Who would have thought? But more than 1.4 million toilet flushing systems are being recalled following reports of toilets blowing upin the US and Canada, according to US safety officials. As well as causing $710,000 worth of damage to property, these incidents have caused injury to 23 people- one of which required foot […]

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Burger King Create a Nightmare Inducing Burger

24th October 2018

Fast food chain Burger King claims to have created a burger for Halloween which will increase your chance of having a bad dream. The ‘Nightmare King’ burger consists of a beef patty, a chicken fillet, cheese, bacon, onions and mayonnaise all inside a green bun. Now we know what you’re thinking: a burger that gives you […]

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Almost 700,000 at People’s Vote march

20th October 2018

Almost 700,000 people marched through Westminster on Saturday in the name of a ‘People’s Vote’ on Brexit. The demonstration was the largest in the country since the anti-Iraq war protest in 2003. Protestors, who came from all around the country, were demanding a second referendum on whether or not Britain stays in the European Union. […]

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A week in mild amusement

16th October 2018

Let’s get down from business X-Factor contestants who were filmed excitedly enjoying business class were sent back to economy once filming stopped. I don’t see why people are annoyed by this. The short taste of opulence followed by a hard push back to poverty is great practice for the eventual winner. The only way they […]

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Overweight Tourists Banned From Riding Donkeys

15th October 2018

Animal rights activists in Santorini have gained a small victory for donkey welfare as the Greek government passed legislation which protects working donkeys from being overburdened. The island’s capital, Fira is 400m above sea level, and tourists who don’t fancy the long walk to the top have the option to make a donkey do the […]

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Just What does it mean – Rubicon Moment?

12th October 2018

“Rubicon moment” is a strange name for a column and without explanation, it won’t mean much to readers. I feel that the significance of the topics covered in the column will be understated if the naming of the column is not properly understood. Historically the Rubicon was a river that separated Italy from the northern […]

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Do we have a problem with hate crime?

12th October 2018

Does the North East of England have a problem with hate crime? If so, why? The North East has one of the lowest levels of immigration in the UK. The Non-UK born population in Northumberland is just 2% and 4% in County Durham yet Northumbria Police has reported a staggering 69% increase in recorded hate […]

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A week in mild amusement

5th October 2018

Mamma Mia, here we go again Theresa May danced onto the stage to give her speech at the Conservative Party Conference. She came out wriggling to ABBA’s Dancing Queen and even warmed up the crowd with a few jokes. In reference to her embarrassing speech last year, she quipped that if she coughed, it would be because […]

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UK’s first child trauma school planned

2nd October 2018

Children who have suffered trauma early in life and are being let down by mainstream education are to be helped by short-stay schools. A new plan for the Your Place Academy in Norwich intends to help change the lives of children who have suffered all too much in their short lives. Ranging from domestic violence […]

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384 killed in Indonesia tsunami

29th September 2018

As far as natural disasters go, the Indonesian city of Palu has had a pretty horrific ordeal. Following an earthquake on Friday, a tsunami was triggered – and it has destroyed a huge chunk of the whole city. The earthquake was registered as 7.5 magnitude and swept through the city, wiping out homes, shops and […]

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A week in mild amusement

28th September 2018

Virgin Fail We begin this week with US Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. He has claimed that the sexual assault allegations against him cannot be true because he was a virgin in high school. Now these two things, obviously, are completely unrelated. This, of course, caused every satirist and left-leaning Twitter user to engage in […]

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Square named after Jo Cox MP

28th September 2018

Two years after the murder of MP Jo Cox by a neo-Nazi terrorist, a square in Brussels has been named after her. Mrs Cox, who lived in Brussels for six years before representing Batley and Spen in the House of Commons, was named on a list of ‘illustrious women’ who are having squares, streets and […]

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Essay Mills – What Are They All About?

27th September 2018

According to the Guardian Newspaper, cheating at British Universities has risen by 40% in the last three years and professional essay writing services (or ‘essay mills’) are behind the rise. Why do an ever-increasing number of students feel the need to cheat their way through a degree? Is it because they’re simply lazy and irresponsible; […]

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Theresa May gives defiant Brexit statement

21st September 2018

Prime Minister Theresa May has given a statement on the Brexit negotiations inside Number 10 this afternoon in which she gave a strong message to the EU. The statement follows talks with the EU yesterday in Salzburg which seemingly fell apart after they rejected her Chequers proposal. In Chequers, the blueprint given by the PM […]

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A week in wild bemusement

20th September 2018

Toad in the hole Let’s talk about Stormy Daniels. Now, I could spend this whole section droning on about the lewd descriptions she gave this week about Donald Trump’s genitals… so I’m going to. Apologies for the imagery some of this may bestow in your mind. Frequently repeated is her depiction of Donnie’s penis as […]

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Premier League Roundup – Week Five

16th September 2018

International breaks often come at unwelcome times, just as the season was beginning to take shape and teams were starting to show their potential (or lack of) for the season ahead. Week 5 has left Manuel Pellegrini as the most relieved man in sports as West Ham ended their abominable run with a 3-1 victory […]

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BEEP REWIND: Roald Dahl’s Top Five Characters

14th September 2018

As September marks the birth month of one of children’s literature’s most influential authors, thousands of parents and their sons and daughters will be celebrating Roald Dahl Day. Each year, Dahl’s birthday is celebrated with a ‘wonderful array of events’ according to the official website, including a party at the Roald Dahl Museum in Great […]

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Sajid Javid rejects aborition buffer zones

13th September 2018

In a surprise move today the Home Secretary has announced that he will not be introducing protest buffer zones outside of abortion clinics. It was widely accepted that said zones, which would prevent pro-life campaigners from protesting within 100 metres of clinics, would be introduced by the government after former home secretary Amber Rudd had […]

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Skripal suspects: “We were just tourists”

13th September 2018

Following a week of speculation and accusation surrounding the two main suspects in the poisoning of the Skripals in Salisbury, the pair has come forward in an attempt to clear their name. Speaking to Russian state-backed TV channel Russia Today (RT), Alexander Petrov and Ruslan Boshirov said they visited the town of Salisbury as tourists […]

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A week in mild amusement

12th September 2018

Entering the single market So Boris Johnson’s getting a divorce. He and his wife are separating after 25 years. While she can no longer live in his house, he does expect her to cook, clean and allow low tariff imports for no benefit. Drawing comparisons with Johnson’s own separation and Brexit is obviously fun but not […]

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Tweets by Russian trolls cited in UK news articles

10th September 2018

A Guardian investigation has found that the tweets of Russian troll accounts have been cited in over one hundred UK news articles. The tweets were included in stories about US president Donald Trump, Donald Glover and Lena Dunham by the British press. The investigation used the details of 1,000 accounts listed as Russian trolls by […]

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Salisbury suspects warned by UK

9th September 2018

Following the revelation last week that two suspects involved in the Salisbury spy poisoning incident have been identified, the Home Secretary has warned they will be prosecuted if they ever step foot outside of Russia. Speaking on Sunday on The Andrew Marr Show, Sajid Javid said that “if they [the suspects] ever step foot out […]

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A week in mild amusement

6th September 2018

Olympic Games The President of the International Olympic Committee says esports are too violent to be part of the Olympics. Thomas Bach, who won an Olympic gold in fencing, says the games promote violence. Unlike fencing, of course. Real life sword-fighting is far less violent than pressing X to delete CGI robots on a screen. […]

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Moves to make misogyny a hate crime

5th September 2018

In the wake of the ‘Me Too’ movement and wider public debates surrounding sexual assault, tampon taxes, period poverty and many issues affecting women all around the world, Labour MP Stella Creasy is attempting to make misogyny a hate crime in England. Misogyny, the hatred and prejudice against women, is often believed to be the […]

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How to Pass Your Driving Test – First Time

4th September 2018

How to Pass Your Driving Test – First Time Don’t let other people make you nervous; Leading up to my driving test I heard all manner of complaints from friends who had recently failed their practical test. ‘It was the sat-navs fault’, ‘my examiner had failed me even before we set off’. Contrary to popular […]

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Alex Salmond Resigns From the SNP

1st September 2018

Alex Salmond, former Scottish First Minister and one of the principal advocates of Scottish Independence, has resigned from the Scottish National Party after 45 years. Salmond, who led the SNP for 20 years, has said his resignation is a temporary measure whilst he attempts to distance himself from sexual misconduct allegations which emerged last week. […]

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Plastic Bag Charge to Double

27th August 2018

If you thought 5p for something that was completely free three years ago was a bit steep, you’re not going to be thrilled about the latest announcement. Environment Secretary Michael Gove has approved plans which will force nearly all retailers to charge 10p for plastic carrier bags. Currently, ‘small’ shops with less than 250 employees […]

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A week in mild amusement

22nd August 2018

Level up It was A-level results day for students all across the country this week. The length and breadth of Britain, there were some teens taking to Twitter to express their joy, and others taking to vodka to express their disappointment… and also their joy. For those directly involved it can seem like the most […]

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Are ‘Dumb Phones’ Making a Comeback?

21st August 2018

When we imagine what smartphones will look like in the future, we tend to think of wireless chargers and holograms. Smartphones have become so addictive that the average iPhone user unlocks their phone 80 times a day. However new data has shown that consumers are beginning to choose simple phones that can only text and […]

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A week in mild amusement

15th August 2018

Berk: A row Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson (better known as Boris) caused a stir this week when he compared women wearing the burqa to ‘letterbox[es]’. Proving, once again, that no one in this country knows what a burqa is. A burqa has a full face covering. What Boris is referring to is a niqab. […]

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The damage of extreme heat

13th August 2018

This summer has been exceptionally hot in the UK and countless warnings have been issued about the dangers of hot cars. In mid 20 degree heat, cars can reach temperatures of over 48 degrees. Most of these hot car warnings have informed us about the deadly consequence of leaving babies and dogs inside but nothing […]

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Premier League Roundup – Week One

13th August 2018

Premier League Roundup – Week One Ladies and Gentlemen….   The Premier League is back! The 2018/19 season opened on Friday evening as Jose Mourinho overcame his transfer window blues with a 2-1 triumph over Leicester. It took all of three minutes for the first penalty to be awarded, confidently buried by World Cup winner […]

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Interrail Pass: Worth It?

9th August 2018

Many young people want to travel far and wide while they are still young – and for good reason. You’ve got to do things while you can, and travel is no different. One of the most common ways of travel is interrailing with the Interrail EU company, which allows you to travel on a whole […]

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Historical Northeast: Newcastle Untd FC (Part I)

8th August 2018

It’s that time of year again: the new football season is upon us. On Saturday 11th August 2018, Newcastle United will embark on its 86th season in the top flight of the English football pyramid. The first recorded football team to be based on Tyneside dates from 1877 at Elswick Rugby Club, though modern Newcastle […]

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A week in mild amusement

7th August 2018

*Editors note* Because Kieran is still in hiding from all the Welsh people he upset last week, he was unable to complete this week’s column. Luckily though, as he was bolting out the door holding facepaint and water-reeds, he managed to book a few guest writers. We think you’ll recognise a few big names here but […]

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Climate Change Destroying Internet

6th August 2018

A study published by the University of Madison, Wisconsin has found that it’s not only the physical environment that will be lost as a result of climate change but the entire Internet could be at stake. Rising sea levels will damage the underwater fibre optics cables which provide Internet connection to major US cities such as […]

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Barry Chuckle Dies Aged 73

5th August 2018

Entertainer and comedian Barry Chuckle has died aged 73 after a period of ill health. Barry Chuckle (left) with his brother Paul The star’s manager Phil Dale stated, “The family would like to express their thanks to the many people who have been fans of the Chuckle Brothers and they know that they will share […]

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Why did the sun vanish in Siberia?

2nd August 2018

In the UK, we might thank the sun for disappearing for a while seeing as we’ve tolerated a hot and sticky heatwave for the last month. However, a strange phenomenon in Siberia shows that it really is better that the sun does what it’s expected to. On the 20th of July, residents of Eveno-Bytantaisky and Zhigansky, […]

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A week in mild amusement

1st August 2018

Not so smartphones New research suggests that students who have smartphones in class achieve lower grades- even if they don’t use them. That’s right, the mere presence of laptops or phones is enough to divide your attention from course content. As a young lad, I believed that a phone in my pocket could affect my ability […]

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Instagram Rich List

31st July 2018

Reality star and entrepreneur Kylie Jenner takes the number one spot on the Instagram rich list. The new mother earns $1m for every post she creates on Instagram. The top ten spots on the rich list feature several predictable names such as Kim Kardashian and Justin Bieber. In 12th place comes ex England footballer David […]

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20 People Die From Fake News

30th July 2018

Fake news is a fairly new expression but one that has quickly become a frequent part of our everyday vocabulary. To many, fake news articles or fabricated videos and images can just be ignored and scrolled past but in some parts of the world, the reaction to fake news is very different. In India, group […]

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Kind Notes Save Lives

25th July 2018

An 18-year-old girl who left notes on Sunderland’s Wearmouth bridge has been presented with an award after her messages helped save six lives. Paige Hunter tied 40 notes to the railings of the bridge with uplifting messages intended for individuals in crisis. One of the notes read: “Even though things are difficult, your life matters; you’re […]

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A week in mild amusement

24th July 2018

Gunn control Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn was sacked by Disney for a series of bad jokes (and one good one) he made in 2009. Because that’s apparently a reasonable response. If we can be liable for idiotic things we said on Twitter in 2009 (and apologised for in 2012, by the way) […]

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