News

Kumbuka? More Like Ribenuka

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20 October 2016

By Alex Khalil

It sounded better in my head.

So, look, you’re a gorilla, right? You see an opportunity to escape your confinement in a zoo for a few hours and you take it. Then suddenly, you see it. Five litres of undiluted Ribena. And you know, your night on the session has begun.

Despite what other news outlets may have said, Kumbuka, who briefly escaped captivity the other day, did not “break any locks, and was never on the loose,” according to Professor Field, Zoological Director, but merely wandered around a non-public part of the zoo for a bit, downed 5l of blackcurrant squash, and was then detained and put back with his family.

Obviously, Twitter exploded:

Your move, Ribena. Your move.

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