Nessie On Tour

The mystery is solved.

Despite years of fruitless searching for the Loch Ness Monster and occasional bouts of pandemonium when someone claims to have finally unearthed the folklore beast (or, more likely, fallen victim to a crude hoax), nobody has ever considered the prospect that Nessie could have emigrated south of the Border…

Yes, it seems that the Scottish cult hero has become fed up of wearing kilts and has resettled in the Big Smoke – London.

Ok, silly talk aside.

A video recorded from one of the Emirates cable cars over the Thames this week has emerged on You Tube claiming to expose a huge creature swimming in the Thames.  Despite being viewed millions of times, the identity of the creature remains unknown, with even top wildlife experts finding themselves puzzled.

As always, there are a number of rational explanations for the sighting.  The first – and least exciting – of these is that that the unidentified object may merely be a tree or large piece of driftwood.  As the Thames is largely salt water in this area, rather than freshwater, it is also possible that the creature is a large ocean mammal, possibly a whale or group of dolphins – the latter of which is actually quite common on the river.

It would seem the creature is already developing into a tourist attraction, with tour companies reportedly dealing with an onslaught of enquires about the brute.  One guide said “We have had enquiries from our customers about it and we’ve joked we will have to equip our guides with a conch to warn off the Kraken.”

Personally, I hope the creature remains a mystery and evolves into another London icon.

I wonder what it could be called? The Boris Beast, perhaps?