As Game of Thrones hero Ned Stark would say ‘The winter season is fast approaching’. Or something like that.

As the frost begins to settle on the grass, many people will be breaking out the salopettes in preparation for zooming alps-ward for the winter sports season.

When I say ‘many’, I mean those middle class enough to own a table with a lazy-susan and to secretly regret the early noughties pebble dashing phase but there’s still enough of them.

While there are many options to choose how you like to slide down mountains, here we contrast the two flagship ones.

Skiing

The majority of peoples first exposure to sliding with style, it may seem a bit pedestrian. You’ve already paid to go to the alps so I don’t doubt you’d have no problem referring to something as ‘common’. However, as sliding techniques go, it’s far easier to learn and you’ll suffer drastically fewer concussions in your first two weeks of tutorage.

The presence of poles can also be a great help (unless you’re one of those with such a compunction for showing-off you decide to go sans-stick) when encountering a bit of flat and needing to push yourself along. The ability to stop on the slope without needing to plant either knees or bum is also much more forgiving on the hardest or fleshiest parts of your body.

Snowboarding

Face it, its cooler. You look like a surfer (Hawaii, not Cornwall).

It’s far easier off the slopes as your feet aren’t in the agonising state of self-induced rigour mortise that ski-boots require (though admittedly, you also don’t get the orgasmic relief of removing said boots at 4 pm).

A single snowboard is easier to carry around than two skis and two poles and once the basics are mastered, you can advance far more rapidly than your two-footed compatriots.

Best pick your slopes well, though. If a lengthy, flat, green run rears its head when you’re boarding, you’re going to lose a lot of sweat dragging yourself along with one foot like a lame clown and the only beverage available for re-hydration will be the jägerbombs in the après bar.