Editorials

Typical British People Problems

3 September 2014

By Yasmine

Whilst sitting in the office, we decided to come up with the problems only us Brits will understand:

1 The Last Biscuit

Your craving the last biscuit out for the Foxes Favourite box but you don’t want too seem greedy, so you ask if anyone wants the last biscuit. You smirk as no one comes forward to claim it but with seconds to spare George from across the room in the corner, raises his hand and whips that custard cream right from your grasps. You are now depressed for the next 30 minutes.

digestive

 

2 The Awkward Bus Stop

You accidently ring the bell one stop before your actual stop. Instead of explaining your wrong doing to the bus driver, you decide to get off and walk 10 minutes to your house in typical British weather with six full shopping bags.

bus stop

 

3 The Doomed Haircut

You’ve sat in the salon chair for 45 minutes. Your palms are sweaty and you hold back the tears and nod politely as the hairdresser asks you “is it alright?” You quickly pay and get the hell out of there as quick as possible so you can set your tears free, all because it wasn’t ‘alright’ and now you think that you look a disgrace.

woman hair

 

4 Marmite

You ask your friend what they think of Marmite, they shrug and say “neither here nor there”. You now can’t trust a thing she says and you question her every motive.

marmite

 

5 The Supermarket Woe

You’re browsing through the supermarket for Dolmio sauce so you can make that bolognese that you have been craving. Your heart skips a beat because someone has beaten you to the sauce, so you pretend to take interest in the crackers two feet away until they remove themselves from the area.

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6 Sorry My Fellow Smoker

You are standing at the bus stop and the ‘Burberry cap man’ wants a ‘light’ but you don’t smoke, you politely say sorry that you don’t smoke and he storms off. You, therefore, apologise to the man for not filling your lungs with tar and poisonous gases.

chav

 

7 The Mug

You’ve used the same mug for your cup of tea for three years. You have just finished your well deserved cup of tea and tragedy strikes when you accidentally knock your coffee table and your beloved mug is now in tiny pieces on the floor. You now wear slippers around the house because although you’ve picked up the pieces, you are scared there may be splinters.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

 

8 “It’s fine”

So you’ve just smashed your favourite mug and now you look and feel depressed; your friend asks you “What’s up” and you simply reply “Nothing, it’s fine”. In other words, you were meant to say “It couldn’t get any worse but no doubt it will.”

dear life

Tea Bag Animal

You’ve had a stressful morning traveling to work and all you want is a nice cuppa. You reach for the Yorkshire tea bags but work only has Tetley, you are now in physical pain knowing that you have to drink Tetley tea like some kind of animal.

 

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