Editorials

Uni Struggles: Unpleasant Flatmates

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14 January 2018

By Bronwen

In a similar way to TV shows such as Big Brother and I’m A Celebrity, it is near impossible to put a group of complete strangers together and expect them all to get along with no drama. Most university accommodation houses about 4-10 people per flat and it’s all completely random. The first semester of uni can be full of conflict and drama as you all adjust to living together but sometimes things can get out of hand.

How can you tell if your conflicts with flatmates are just teething issues or an irreparable problem?

It is very normal to have several arguments or disputes with flatmates. If the argument is usually about the dishes, noise or who keeps drinking your milk, your problems will just be temporary until you’ve established each other’s boundaries. The majority of flatmate arguments are usually about housekeeping and there’s plenty you can do to put an end to this problem. You could discuss making a cleaning rota (including whose turn it is to buy dish soap, surface cleaner etc) with your flatmates or even politely asking them to pull their weight a bit more.

Flatmate struggles become a little more severe when there is a degree of hostility going on. First of all, it’s important to outline what I mean by hostility. Hostile behaviour is deliberate and malicious action taken by others to make your feel upset or uncomfortable. This could include the room going silent as you walk in or some of your things going missing from the kitchen. In this case, you should initially try finding the cause of the issue. Did this behaviour start all of a sudden or was it gradual? If it was sudden, perhaps you’ve upset somebody without realising or said something a little off on a night out when you were drunk. Before going any further, it is worth talking to your flatmate(s) and asking if things are okay between you. The best way to sort out any kind of conflict or misunderstanding is to have a one-on-one conversation in a calm manner in a neutral location. Don’t do it over Facebook or text if you can, try to meet them face to face so you can have a relaxed conversation. If the hostility came out of nowhere or you can’t reach a solution after talking to your flatmate, it might be time to consider more drastic action such as moving out. Your flat should be a comfortable space where you can go to eat, relax and socialise- not a toxic place where you’re nervous to bump into flatmates. I’m a firm believer in never letting anybody force you out of anywhere but sometimes the grass is greener on the other side.

 

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