Unobvious Reasons Why Smoking is Disgusting

If that show “Educating Yorkshire” came into my school, the only mildly amusing thing they would have to film would be everyone going out for a smoke at lunch time. I’m sure this doesn’t just apply to my school. You all probably know of a little/big/majority of the school cult that goes out every lunch time, hides behind a few garages and collectively produce a mist of carbon monoxide that poisons the local wildlife. It disgusts me. But clearly, it doesn’t disgust many others, with 10% of all 15 year old students smoking on a REGULAR basis.

This is why I am going to address you, dear smoker, and list all of the reasons why you are vulgar. And these reasons aren’t going to be the usual “it’s not very good for you” ones; I’m going to tell you all about how it affects me. And in no particular order:

1-     So it’s a Friday. Even better, it’s lunchtime. The sun is shining and the birds are singing and I want to go to the local shop for a can of Sprite. Armed with my friend Steph, I head out of the school gates and venture into the estates. The shop is within my line of vision; all I have to do is head down this cut way right here- oh. It’s packed with about 40 children smoking and looking anxious for a moment until they realise we’re not teachers. I glance at Steph. I glance at the kids. I decide that if I walk down this alley way, I’ll probably get jumped by these people who clearly have no morals anyway. After being forced to go the long way round, I arrive at the shop and I’m slightly dismayed to find that they are just out of Sprite and I have to settle for a Coke.

2-     On my table in my tutor room, there is a girl who smokes at least forty a day. Now I’m not going to complain about the smell of the smoke, because it doesn’t bother me too much. My nose has developed immunity or something. But to disguise the scent from the teachers, this vile girl sprays her uniform with coconut body spray. Coconut+ Tobacco= the most revolting thing you could ever smell. Ever.

3-     When you say “I smoke because I’m stressed” it makes me want to hit you. Nicotine is a STIMULANT. The point of it is not to make you relax but the opposite.

4-     People who smoke to “lose weight” are pretty annoying, because it is a total myth. The only reason people who smoke lose weight is because they smoke instead of binging on sweets and stuff, and for those of you who don’t know, not eating sweets helps you lose weight. Basically you’re just replacing one bad habit with another worse one. Oh and smoking can cause cellulite too.

5-     Since people are no longer allowed to smoke indoors, they do it at doorways. That means in order to get into any premises, I have to walk through a veil of gases as well as past those same people who make me clutch onto my purse. I’m not generalising all smokers here….actually I am.

6-     I’m finding it difficult to concentrate in lessons because I’m looking at the smokers and searching for signs of wrinkles and gum disease. I know who they all are and they’re probably quite scared when every time they look over in my direction I’m sitting studying the sides of their eyes.

7-     There is nothing worse than having someone else’s smoke-smell stick to your clothes and have to have a lecture from your parents who now think you and your friends are smoking, solely because you stink of it. No matter how innocent you are, these interrogations will always make you feel nervous.

So there’s a thought for you. There are a few thoughts for you. Just don’t smoke if you’re planning to cross my path today, because really, it’s not cool, it’s just nauseating.