A week in Mild Amusement

Jeremy Corbyn appeared on the cover of GQ airbrushed into looking like the world’s most boring action figure. He astoundingly, manages to resemble when they recreate deceased actors using CGI, despite the considerable handicap of not actually being dead yet. He joins the ranks of wet thumb lookalike David Cameron and pasty muppet Boris Johnson as politicians to feature on the cover of the men’s fashion and style magazine.

Why any man would wish to replicate the styles of those three, which I will describe as ‘funeral on a budget’, ‘painted sausage’ and ‘posh tramp’, I don’t know. Reportedly, Corbyn insisted on wearing an M&S suit for the photo shoot, presumably (keeping with his whole empathy vibe) so he could feel as uncomfortable as everyone looking at the photo.

A story ran on a nursery in Amsterdam sandwiched between two red light district brothels. Despite this less than conventional locale, the nursery rates very highly in educational league tables as well as, I imagine, the opinions of dads. The prospect of parents evening is probably a lot more palatable with more visual stimulus than free cordial and the shortcomings of your offspring.

Fish faced hate mollusc Nigel Farage defended the latest Trump Twitter bloodbath. In response to the president re-tweeting videos from moron agglomeration and dubious master race hopefuls Britain First, Nigel brushes off the reaction saying that Trump almost certainly doesn’t know who the group is or what they stand for. In short, why should the US president bother to check what he endorses? Interesting that we now hold the leader of the free world to lower standards than we do Pewdiepie.

A mailbomb found near a German Christmas market has been destroyed by police in a controlled explosion in a deliberately ironic ‘screw you’ to the bomb-maker. Apparently the culprits were intending to extort millions of euros from shipping company DHL in return for not setting the bomb off in the most ADHD method of paying for Christmas shopping in history. We’ve all been angry at DHL when we’ve been waiting in all day for our feckless delivery driver to work out how his satnav works, but I usually keep hold of the C4 for more deserving targets. Parcelforce, maybe.