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22 Reasons Hogwarts Could Never Be a British High School

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30 October 2016

By Bronwen

For those of us who never received our Hogwarts letter, and had to go to a regular muggle school after reading or watching Harry Potter, you come to the realisation that the wizard school is an unrealistic representation of a typical secondary school. Here’s why:

1- There’s no teachers shouting at the kids to roll their skirts down or do their top buttons up

2- No girls with severe fake tan disasters

3- There’s no penis graffiti on the desks or walls

4- No first years with ink all over their face from savage pen fights with friends

5- No Nike/SuperDry/Adidas/Vans backpacks

6- No portakabin buildings

7- None of the classrooms had that awful scratchy, green carpet

8- Everyone has their own textbook instead one between six

9- No turkey twizzlers or potato smiley faces at lunch

10- No Tamagotchis

11- No constant complaints about the cold

12- No bike shed or similar area where people go to smoke in secret like true gangsters

13- No harassment from seagulls on a break time

14- No doodles on library text books

15- People don’t wear over 10 charity wristbands on each arm

16- No year sevens with giant bags

17- If you’re a prefect you actually have some authority over the lower school

18- No bin/toilet fires

19- No one plays slaps on a break time

20- No names of naughty kids written on the blackboard under a 🙁 drawing

21- No one gets to come up and write the answer on the board

22- No giant ring binder folders.

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