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A week in mild amusement (feat. podcast)

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1 May 2018

By Kieran

Domain tout commence

A man is suing the French government over the way it took over the France.com web domain. Joel-Noel Frydman registered the domain in 1994 which is impressive for a man who sounds like a character from a musical cartoon series about sentient fast-food. He used the domain as an information hub for French people or fans of French culture in the US. That American-French culture, presumably, primarily being the alleged nationality of their fries. France started legal proceedings in 2015 to seize the domain rather than just doing what any of us would do. That is, just type the domain again but add numbers to it. I suppose Franc3_Euro1.com isn’t as catchy as France.com. Though if I was them, and wanted to capture everything great about their country, I would have gone for www.Macron+Cheese.org.

Five out of bribe

A BBC report revealed that fake five-star reviews are being bought and sold online. Apparently DC fans aren’t completely crazy. Maybe I am just a paid Marvel shill. And also a cuck. I was upset to see the condemnation this practise received, as quite honestly, I wish I could purchase a couple of good reviews for this column. Although admittedly, B**p would probably find it suspicious that Kieran was getting so many positive responses from Vladimir1978 and Moscowgirl69 on his Tyneside based ramblings.

Fake taxi…dermy

A winning entry in the Wildlife Photographer of the Year competition was disqualified after it was revealed that the anteater in the photo was, in fact, stuffed. The competition runners felt that the use of a dead-inside, moulding corpse with little structural integrity wasn’t in the spirit of the contest. Which is the same reason no one ever wins for photos of Amber Rudd. The photographer, Marcio Cabral, denies fakery and claims there is a witness who was with him when he took the photo. He declined to comment when this witness was pointed out to be a Topshop mannequin.

Cancer in the dark

Research suggests many English people believe multiple fake causes of cancer. For example, 19% of those surveyed by UCL and the University of Leeds believed the use of microwave ovens was dangerous. A complete fallacy, provided of course, that you remain outside of the microwave. I’m glad that researchers have clarified microwaves cannot cause cancer. I’m going home immediately to cook some red meat and lard in mine. In addition to this, 15% of people believed that drinking from plastic bottles is a cause. Which must make taking prescribed cancer medication a dilemma. One third of people thought electromagnetic frequencies were frequencies. This misconception was corrected in a radio report but, unfortunately, they were too scared to listen to it.

Brand New! A Month in Mild Amusement:

We’re now doing an exclusive monthly roundup, with the same satirical perspective, via podcast. Check out the first episode of  A Month in Mild Amusement below:

 

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