I like to flatter myself as a savvy cinemagoer/misanthrope. The cinema experience is different for everyone but for me it’s comforting darkness, peaceful solitude and sanctuary from outside stresses for two hours. To this view, I normally attend midday showings on weekdays for the best odds of emptier screens; away from the drooling slurpers and voracious crunchers that masticate, giggle or breathe loud enough to serve as an unpleasant reminder that other people exist.

So why then, do I book midnight screenings for big films? I did it for Guardians 2. I did it for Rogue One. I did it for Batman V Superman. I’m probably going to do it for The Last Jedi. Any tentpole comic book, Star Wars or Harry Potter vehicle, I cant resist being among the first hundred to see it, crammed shoulder to shoulder with noisy, smelly humans. Why?

I suppose they’re a good way to avoid spoilers. If you’re someone who spends a lot of time on Twitter or Youtube it’s very easy to scroll unsuspectingly onto thumbnails detailing important plot twists or character deaths. Seeing it first reduces that threat.

They’re always full of superfans of these properties so I guess it’s nice experiencing something you love with an audience who is similarly enthusiastic. That being said, enthusiasm can quickly become irritating if, like me, you’re not big on people or noise. The superfans laugh too hard, they might whisper excitedly to one another, they may even cheer or (and this is inexcusable) clap. We’re all watching the film and we all want to hear what’s happening in the film. Shut up. Harrison Ford can’t hear you and if he could, he’d tell you to shut up as well.

The most egregious examples of this come when watching 18 rated movies, because guess who’s going to those midnight showings. You guessed it, fans who are over 18. And what can fans who are over 18 do? Get drunk. Sitting between two inebriated idiots as they backwashed their large cokes through snorted laughter while trying to catch what outdated pop culture reference Deadpool was making is up there among the most excruciating experiences of my adulthood.

So will I go see TLJ at midnight? Probably. But if you see me there, know this. Even though I’m watching a thing I love, at what is essentially a celebration of enthusiasm… I’m not happy about it.