Lent Purifies Unholy Computer Viruses

23 March 2018

By Bronwen

Ah Lent, the holiest time of the year. However things are about to get very unholy, very quickly and it’s all because of computer infections.

Since the beginning of Lent this year, the amount of computer infections has dropped by 17% across the US, and this number is even higher in US states with large Catholic populations. For example, Boston’s infections dropped 36%, Pittsburgh’s infections dropped 38% and Los Angeles dropped 23%.


Well Catholics are more likely to participate in Lenten activities such as going to Mass, lighting candles and more commonly, giving something up for 40 days. Many people give up chocolate or alcohol during the Lenten season but as we live in the Age of the Internet, some Catholics choose to give up technology based activities such as playing Candy Crush or watching porn. It is, in fact, the reduction in porn consumption that is responsible for the decline in computer infections. Since many porn sites tend to be quite shady, a large amount of viruses are present and less visitors to these sites mean that less people will end up with a virus.

Ryan Gerding, a spokesperson for Enigma Software Group, claims that, “a large percentage of the malware that ends up on our customer’s computers is because they were visiting adult websites”.

He continues, “As soon as Easter is over, it [the amount of computer viruses] goes right back up again.”

Throughout the year, the amount of viruses increases and decreases for many different reasons. In winter, people spend more time indoors on their computers and therefore the amount of infected computers increases. The same goes for spells of bad weather.

To conclude, giving up porn for Lent has more advantages than merely pleasing the Lord.

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