NUFC Relegated

After years of poor decisions, Newcastle United Football Club has been demoted to a lower ranking in the Premier League.

Newcastle’s derby rival, Sunderland, won 3-0 over Everton on Wednesday, sealing the deal on Newcastle’s relegation. The club and fans are devastated, and a statement from Newcastle’s managing director, Lee Charnley, said:

“Tonight we are devastated at our relegation from the Premier League, as I know every single person connected to this football club will be. I want to thank all of the fans for the support you have shown for the club you love throughout the season, in spite of this massive disappointment and underachievement.”

The club’s official Twitter account tweeted the sad news yesterday.

This will mark Newcastle out as the most expensive flop ever.

Over £80 million has been spent on new players, and the team is the second highest spender in English football, after Manchester City. No other team has failed so badly when trying to stay in the top leagues after so much money has been flushed into the club. Even with the expensive players, the club has hardly been out of the bottom three this season, due to coach Steve McClaren, who was sacked back in March.

Things looked to be improving under the wing of Rafael Benitez, when the team had a five-game winning streak for the first time since November 2014. But it was all too little, all too late; the Spanish coach was unable to pull them clear of the edge in time, hence the relegation.

Many fans have expressed outrage and disappointment in their club on Twitter:

They were also thoroughly mocked by their derby rivals:

RIP in peace, NUFC fans’ confidence in their team.