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Putin Bought Dolphins

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26 April 2016

By Alex Khalil

Vladimir Putin is an odd sort of bloke. A very iron-fisted ruler with a soft spot for animals.

His most recent purchase, however, has raised some questions. Russia’s Ministry of Defence has purchased five dolphins: three males and two females, for the price of 350,000 roubles (approximately £3,600 a dolphin), or £18,000 in total.

File photo of Putin lying on the snow in Moscow Region
Looks like a photo you’d use on Tinder.

So, why is Putin splashing out (Ha, ocean pun) on these watery mammals?

Well, combat dolphins have been utilized in the past, and were used to detect thing like underwater mines, and are trained to take on other military tasks. The dolphins will be taken to a remote dolphin training facility in Ukraine, which was seized by Russians during the annexation in 2014.

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Did…did he bring his own bottle?

The Russian Ministry of Defence has refused correspondence at this time.

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