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Realistically Coping With Exam Stress

19 January 2017

By Lois

Being in the midst of GCSE mocks and preparing to do the same thing times ten in a few months has set my mind to thinking about the best way to deal with exam stress and juggle everything else that needs doing. So to really get into the spirit I’ve compiled a list of my personal favourites to get us through this rather difficult time:

1. Procrastinate – This is by far the most important on the list, and therefore is the first item. Nothing speeds up time like wasting it does, and if sitting stressfully doing literally anything other than revising doesn’t get you in the mood to take on a maths test, I don’t know what will.
2. When you do revise, do so badly – spend hours flicking aimlessly through a textbook, cut out bits of paper for flashcards then don’t write on them, arrange all your books neatly to ‘prepare’; whatever it takes for you to be able to say you’ve revised when really you’ve done naff all and hate yourself for it.
3. Deprive yourself of sleep – If you do both of the above correctly then you should be in a position of absolute meltdown by seven when you realise there is an actual EXAM tomorrow and you’ve done NOTHING. Stay awake well into the night furiously making key point plus tools by candlelight until you loose all sense of reality but at least you’ll have some idea what on Earth ribosomes are.
4. Buy stationary to force yourself to revise but don’t use it – Nothing says exam period like spending £20 in Paperchase on posh pens and an overpriced notebook, to then leave them on a table to encourage yourself to revise. This works best if you then sneer at them disdainfully every time you pass said table until you put them away in a drawer when you realise they’re only reminding you of how little you’ve done.
5. Approach tears thrice daily – Don’t ever actually cry; remind yourself the mess you’re in is entirely your own fault and you deserve everything you get, then suck it up and get on with something that isn’t what you should be doing.
6. CRAM, CRAM, CRAM – This ties in well with number three and is a personal favourite. Nothing makes you feel more relaxed and prepared for an exam like two hours of coffee-fuelled speed reading and scribbling. It’s certainly something to look forward to during the long, long periods of doing nothing but think about how you should be revising, and the adrenaline buzz alone should do great things for your moral. Enough cramming and you’ll convince yourself you could take on the world, walk into any chosen profession tomorrow, and scrape a C in your science exam.

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