The Real News This Week

That’s right. Alongside the news that a rather large, fascist Wotsit has been elected president, and 2016 is literally the worst year ever, we have some news that actually matters.

Toblerone. A triangular treat that surfaces around Christmas, because it’s so sickly it’ll last you most of the following year, or it would, if the designers (do chocolates have designers?) hadn’t decided to change the formula a bit. See if you can notice the difference.

So basically, we’re getting closer to just paying for air. That’s what we’re doing, aren’t we? I mean they’ve basically removed 25% of the bar. But why is it such a big deal?

Well, Brexit could have been a deciding factor in the Toblerone’s change.

The price of cocoa powder has risen sharply over the last few years, and with Brexit’s residual effect on the pound, it is rather expensive to source all of the core ingredients, so really, the change makes sense.

There are a few products that have undergone changes right under our very noses, according to Which. Tropicana has reduced the size of its orange and raspberry juice by 15%, and dark chocolate digestives have decreased in weight by about 10%.

But who on earth eats dark chocolate digestives of their own volition? Who does that? Don’t you have any normal biscuits that don’t scream ‘I’m a bit different’?

Since 2012, a few of our favourite chocolates have decreased in size.

Cadbury’s chocolate bars went for a smoother, lighter look, along with creme eggs, which reduced their pack size from half a dozen to just five.

How is a self-respecting citizen such as myself meant to indulge when you only put five in the box?

How, I ask you?