What Annoyed the Internet Last Week?

24 April 2019

By Bronwen

Diane Abbott gets a ridiculous amount of stick from the press. Every time she even slightly bends the rules or makes a mistake, every trashy newspaper in the country has a field day.

Some voters haven’t quite forgiven her for that time she got a statistic wrong on the radio. The same voters are likely more than willing to overlook the numerous times that white and/or male politicians fluffed their lines (see: Michael Gove gets his numbers hopelessly wrong on Tory Manifesto, the time Dominic Raab forgot the UK is an island and Boris Johnson’s awful interview about the Queen’s Speech).

This time, it isn’t her ability to recall numbers that has got Diane in hot water- it’s her choice of beverage.

Britain’s most notorious paper, The Sun, (I won’t even add the link to the website out of respect for myself and our readers) published an article with the headline: Labour’s Diane Abbott breaks the law by swigging can of mojito on the train home

In the article, which I read so you don’t have to, the paper emphasised the strength of the drink, claiming that the tiny little can held “two measures of white rum — two units of alcohol — making it eight per cent in strength”.

The article also features the opinions of two people who are clearly a lot of fun at parties. The first is Susan Hall, a member of the London Assembly’s Police and Crime Committee.

When asked her thoughts on Diane cracking open a cold one on the train, she asked, “How can she have any credibility if she’s willing to break the law?

The second was retired Scotland Yard DCI, Mick Neville, who said: “It’s shocking that she is breaching a law that was brought in to keep order on public transport. London’s got enough problems without senior politicians drinking on trains.”

According to this guy, having a can of mojito on a train is a stretch too far when it comes to London’s “problems” which include rampant knife crime and buildings that don’t meet basic fire safety standards.

After the story became a national discussion point, Abbott tweeted this beautifully sarcastic apology:

Thankfully, most Twitter users found they could relate to Diane when it comes to the very British institution of drinking on trains. Rylan Clark-Neal took it upon himself to give her a suggestion for her next train beverage:

Like a true trendsetter, Diane prompted the nation to go out and buy up every last can of M&S mojito:

I wonder what the headlines would be if a white, male politician was caught with a can of booze in hand? Would it look something like this:

BREAKING NEWS: Boris Johnson Starts his Friday Night Early with a Cheeky Mojito on Train

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