A leak in mild amusement

Long may he rain

It’s a new week and its AWIMA. You know what that means. Time to type Trump’s name into Google and see what he’s done this time. The US president has refused to attend a WW1 memorial service amidst poor weather conditions. The weather was described as ‘near-zero visibility’ so Donald opted to cancel as he suspected Melania might attempt an escape under cover of darkness. This drew a lot of criticism as it was noted that this was the same man who confidently boasted that he would have run into a school to stop a shooter. Provided of course, that the shooter wasn’t stood in the courtyard during a drizzle or in a shower cubicle.

The White House claims that Trump cancelled the visit because he didn’t want to cause congestion troubles in Paris by driving to the service. This is admittedly consistent with Donnie’s character. Historically he has always been careful to draw as small a crowd as possible to any public arena he visits. Unless he’s in inflatable baby form, obviously.

What’s not been talked about much since the election is how low Donald is setting the bar for the next president. In previous years, it was a position for the most experienced, likeable and persuasive that the country had to offer. All the 2020 candidates need to do is to state that they own a Berghaus jacket.

Fag brake

Wales may become the first UK country to ban smoking in town centres. Mark Drakeford, the favourite to become the country’s next First Minister included the plan in his manifesto. He would also ban smoking in the outdoor areas of cafes and restaurants. Would this mean that if you were stepping out for a tab break, you’d have to drive into the suburbs? Or if you were at the pub with your mates, you’d have to leave for 40 minutes to light up and come back? Consequently, this could establish a weird apartheid between smokers and non-smokers who can’t practically socialise or work in the same areas. They’d have to be careful writing up that law. All it takes is for the DUP to see that Wales have been allowed to separate fags from society and we’re back to square one.

Next year will see the ban of smoking from playgrounds which will eliminate 90% of available recreation for Welsh 10-year-olds. Also introduced in the manifesto is the plan to install drinking fountains across Wales. A politician who is anti-smoking but pro-drinking? It’s like having my own personal Health Minister.

We didn’t start the fire

Speaking of public smoking, a lot of California based celebs uploaded some fire content for the gram. Yes, I’m aware that this is certainly in bad taste. Bear with me. Wildfire’s ravaged the state, displacing thousands of residents and destroying many homes, including those of Gerard Butler and Miley Cyrus. But it’s not all bad news. It got Robin Thicke’s house too. The set where they film the HBO series Westworld was also fried. This mean’s Westworld now knows how my brain felt at the end of the season two finale.

Mark Drakeford has condemned the high levels of smoke in public regions of Malibu, asking for the blaze to switch to producing electronic vapour. Residents of California are praying for a lot of rain. Half because it will help quench the flames and half because it ensures that Trump won’t visit. Look at that, I tied all three stories together. Is that the first time I’ve done that? That’s cute.

For more of my Trump bashing and regular attacks on Brexit (yeah I saw Corbyn’s comments, he’s just inherently dull to write about) click on this link.