The average person will encounter hundreds of situations where they feel like they’ve been taken advantage of. Some lucky people know exactly how to deal with these situations in a way that benefits everyone involved, but some others find themselves lost at what to do in the event of something happening that they’re not happy about. Where are you on our Pushover Spectrum?
1- If your teacher asked you to give up your weekend to attend a lecture on something you’re really not interested in, what would you say?
b- “Umm… I’m actually busy that weekend”
c- “Thanks for the offer, but that’s not really my thing. Maybe there’ll be something more suited to me in the future”
d- “No. I’m not THAT miserable”
2- You travel 8 miles to a shopping centre and just when you get there, your friend texts and says, “Soz, overslept. Maybs a different day? x”. How do you react?
a- “No problem… I get it”
b- “Well okay…I’m not even there anyway…”
c- “I actually find that so disrespectful to me. You should have woke up early and made an effort for me. Call me when you’re ready to apologise”
d- “ARE YOU SERIOUS? You know what, don’t even talk to me again, you’re too lazy for my liking”
3- Your boss asks you to come in for the third weekend in a row and you know for a fact that the other employee always switches his phone off to avoid having to come in. What do you do?
a- “Sure thing, boss…”
b- “Yeah, was the other guy busy?”
c- “Yeah, it’s not a problem right now for me but we really need to talk about _______. He’s taking advantage of you and me”
d- “No! It’s always me and never _________. Wake up, boss!”
4- Your unreliable friend is sobbing on the phone to you about not having any money to go out with on the weekend. They ask you if they can borrow £20. What do you say?
a- “…of course… anything for you”
b- “I don’t have any money”
c- “Well to be honest, you don’t have the best track record for paying people back and £20 is a lot of money. Ask your parents”
d- “Hah. No. Get real”
5- Your friend cancels longstanding plans with you so decide to go shopping with your sister. At the shops, you see your friend with some other people and it’s clear that she just wanted rid of you. Your sister tells you to confront her. What happens?
a- “Nah… she probably has reasons”
b- “I’ll text her later”
c- “Hey! I thought you said you couldn’t go out today. I know where I stand with you, I know for next time not to agree to go out with you”
d- “You big liar! *major kickoff*”
6- The girls you sit with in maths start giggling then turn to you and say, “I like your hair”. What do you say?
b- “*eye roll* whatever”
c- “*sarcastically* Thank you. Would you care to explain what’s so funny about that?”
d- “Girl, I will rearrange your face!”
7- You have way too much homework to do and your parents ask you to go to the shops with them and you could be out for about an hour. How do you deal with it?
a- “Well okay…”
b- “Okay… but can we hurry back?”
c- “Sorry dad, but I have about 2 hours of homework that I can only do now. I’ll make enough time next Friday to go with you and mam; I’m just particularly busy tonight.”
d- “No. Far too much work.”
Mostly A’s- You need to be more assertive or you’re going to get walked all over for your entire life! It’s important now that you stand up to people and realise that you don’t have to take any negativity from anybody else. Start off by working out why you feel bad about saying “no” then take little steps that will help you to overcome your inner pushover.
Mostly B’s- You’d rather lie and make excuses than express your true feelings! This is okay sometimes, but you should try and have the confidence to tell people how you really feel and stop making excuses. You can say no to someone without making excuses, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. Go that extra mile to stop being a doormat.
Mostly C’s- You are the god/goddess of self confidence and you know exactly what you’re entitled to! You would never let anybody walk all over you and you have the tact and ability to be able to turn someone down or tell them your true emotions. If you are feeling particularly generous, you could blog or Youtube about how to be more assertive to help people who lack your awesomeness.
Mostly D’s- You’re a little too assertive, bordering on aggressive. You need to take people’s feelings into consideration a bit more when you speak to them, otherwise you’ll end up with no friends and will never get invited anywhere. Keep being independent and strong but try and be a bit more compassionate and respectful.