The Struggle Of Lactose Intolerance
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Lactose intolerance (the inability to digest the sugar in dairy) is a really minor medical problem that doesn’t tend to have any serious symptoms but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a deeply irritating condition that always gets in the way of everyday life. While it won’t kill you, there are a small handful of problems that only people who are confined to soya milk will understand, such as:
1- Being mistaken for a hipster/vegan. Most of the time it’s just paranoia but sometimes you can sense people judging you for having to ask for soya milk in your latte. It’s not so bad if you genuinely are a vegan but if you’re not, you certainly don’t want anyone to think that you are.
2- Pizza. Milkshakes. Ice cream. I don’t care what anyone says, lactose free alternatives to pizza and ice cream are nowhere near as good as the real thing.
3- You need to take out a loan to be able to buy alternatives. Soya or lactose free options are always about 30p more expensive per litre than normal products. It mightn’t seem a lot but when you’re on a budget every penny counts.
4- Eating out is slightly more difficult. 99% of the time there’s a dairy free option but you always have to read the small print or look up the menu before going.
5- Having to carry sachets of lactose free milk everywhere. Keys? Check. Money? Check. 12 just-in-case sachets of soya milk that cost me my life savings? Check.
6- MILK IS IN EVERYTHING. Even weird things that you wouldn’t expect have some traces of milk in them.
7- Some businesses are careless. I recently bought a pina colada from a bar that stated the ingredients were: coconut milk, white rum and pineapple juice. One would assume that this means the milk is just coconut juice but no – they meant it was coconut flavoured cow’s milk. Thanks for that, guys.
8- You don’t trust anyone who makes you a coffee. There’s always that doubt in your mind that maybe they thought you wouldn’t notice if they just put regular milk in your drink or that they could easily have mixed up your order.