Advice: Coming Out
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Some people have always been aware of their sexual orientation and, for them, this may never change. However, for others it may change as they get older and they start to feel less or more attracted to a particular sex. Either is fine, it just depends on how you feel. You may be attracted towards boys, girls, or both. You don’t have to be specific about who you like, as sometimes this can be confusing for yourself.
Despite this, if you are keeping your sexual orientation from people who are close to you, this may cause problems for yourself, making you feel upset or isolated. Don’t rush into ‘coming out’ if you feel uncomfortable about it, but it is likely to make you feel better and more secure in your own feelings in the long run.
The first step is to be honest with yourself about your orientation – whether you are gay, lesbian or bisexual.Then, tell someone who you are close to and that you can trust with this information until you are ready to tell others too. You don’t have to reveal everything about how you are feeling straight away, but at least explain to someone that you are confused about your feelings, or simply that you do have these feelings and that’s how you are. It can be very difficult to keep this information to yourself, so ‘coming out’ could be a huge step for you. For many, they begin to feel much more positive and can now be completely open about their real personality.
It may be difficult for you to do this, but there is a lot of support out there that is available to you. Family or friends may try to help you through it, even if they don’t completely accept it at first. Some people will be confused, others upset or even absolutely ecstatic that you told them. It’s often difficult to know what their reaction will be, but that shouldn’t alter how you feel – it is not their body or mind, it is yours. Alternatively, there are plenty of resources online for you to take a look at:
Stonewall.org.uk
Childline.org.uk
Lgf.org.uk
Good luck!
If you have a specific question you want answering, or a topic that you would like advice on, then don’t hesitate to contact B**P at lauren.h@nebeep.com– you can remain anonymous or we can publish your name, just let us know what you would prefer.