Male Birth Control Halted…

3 November 2016

By Alex Khalil

After a number of males experienced a fraction of the side effects that women experience when using contraception.

You’ve probably heard about this, and my god the irony.

The injection, considered to be 96% successful, was halted after a mere 3% of males who took part in the testing suffered the worst of the side effects. There were 320 men, meaning that only 3 men suffered the worst. But, the side effects are quite tame considering the long list of female contraceptive side effects.

Let’s have a look, shall we?

Male side effects:

  • Acne (45%)
  • Mood / emotional disorder (18%)
  • A lower sperm count one year after stopping the injection (5%)
  • Increased interest in sex (38%)
  • Injection site pain (23%)
  • Muscle aches (16%)

Okay, sounds a bit naff right? But then we look at the women’s side of it (this includes the pill, the implants, and the coil):

  • Mood disorder
  • Acne
  • Weight gain
  • Loss of sex drive
  • Breast pain
  • Thinning of the bones
  • Infection at the side of injection (small risk)
  • Irregular periods (e.g. heavier, more frequent)
  • Acne
  • Depression
  • Breast tenderness and growth
  • Spotting (e.g. regular vaginal bleeding)
  • Nausea and vomiting
  • An increased / decreased sex drive
  • Headache and migraine
  • Weight gain
  • Stomach upset

Then the rarest of rare side effects:

  • Breast cancer (although research continues into the link, it suggests that women who take any hormonal contraception have a slightly increased risk of breast cancer)
  • Cervical cancer
  • A rare form of liver cancer
  • Ovarian cysts
  • Thrombosis
  • Blood clots
  • Decreased fertility

Comedian Michelle Wolf was not impressed when she appeared on The Late Show.

She had one thing to say:

“Men are such little b**pches. One of the side effects is increased sex drive. You men always end up winning! The shot may as well be called ‘More Sex Less Babies’.”

Oh, then Twitter went a bit mad:

To repeat:

“Men are such b**pches.”

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