Motorists Fight Back

Anti-establishment sentiment is sweeping the country; Britain is on the cusp of revolt; the masses are ready to rise up…  Are we finally about to throw off our oppressors?

Well, if those oppressors are parking attendants, we may be making progress.

Parking attendants are some of the most derided associates of the so-called ‘establishment’ (note that ‘establishment’ can describe far more than the political elite). Needlessly sadistic and meticulous, parking attendants look for the most minuscule, insignificant fault with your parking and then strap a £80 fine to your windscreen wipers in an attempt to do all they can to completely ruin your day.

A naval architect in Southampton has achieved a landmark victory in getting his ticket overturned after he physically proved that the parking bays at Southampton Central Station were “too small for an average sized car”. The average sized car in question – that he was driving – is a Hyundai i10. Those of you who are even vaguely familiar with cars will know that the Hyundai i10 is far from a large car – it should be a doddle to park. Outraged at receiving a ticket for his wheels being “two or three inches over the line”, the motorist – clearly a man of action – got down on his hands and knees, deployed his tape measure and made the shocking discovery that although the parking bays were at the recommend width of 2.4m at the entrance to the bay, the angled shape of the space meant that the parallel width between the lines was only 1.978m wide. Smaller than his own car.

When he challenged South West Trains, they naturally blamed British Rail – in the same way that governments always blame the previous administration for their own shortcomings. Although the end result of this case was that the motorist had his fine overturned and South West Trains agreed to repaint 21 of the 182 spaces to avoid a repeat of this incident.

Victory!