On Not Fitting In


There’s something about ‘fitting in’ that everyone seems to aspire to. The ability to have exactly the same interests, music taste, fashion choice and opinions as everyone else is – for some reason – desired by pretty much all of us. But what happens when fitting in isn’t possible? What if you just don’t ‘fit in’? Well, you have come to the right place.

First things first, fitting in is a load of (for lack of better acronym) BS. Why would you want to be any of the things I said above? Really, you want to think, look, act, feel and enjoy everything the same as everyone else does?

I suppose the craving to be accepted isn’t BS, though. It’s pretty human. All our existence we have been part of a family of some sort – a tribe. We humans, I suppose, aren’t solitary creatures. We mingle and mix and socialise. Without it, we do go crazy. But perhaps along with the rise of social media we’ve become obsessed with fitting in with the crowd and everyone else around us.


So, what do you do if you can’t fulfil this very human craving? The simple answer is to accept it. The steps towards acceptance, however, aren’t so simple. It requires a lot of self-reflection, tears and self-assurance.

Many people will tell you that not fitting in is good. The people who don’t fit in are the people who pave the way. I firmly believe this is true – there is a reason you don’t fit the mould. You either broke the mould, or you’re going to. It’s that simple.

The way to cope with not fitting in, I think, is understanding why. Realistically, it isn’t because you don’t share the same music taste. It isn’t because you dress differently. It’s because there’s something else, on a much more fundamental level, that separates you from most other people. It could be emotions or morals. In fact, it’s probably emotions and morals.

So, if you’re struggling with not fitting in, rest easy. There’s a reason for it. And while life can be a bit trickier this way, it is by no means a less worthy life. A life in which you defy the expectations is a life well-lived.