People Change – It’s Not your Fault

7 April 2017

By Lauren E. White

Perhaps one of the hardest parts of life is the change that everyone experiences throughout it. There are of course the obvious changes, like puberty and transitioning into being a classified adult at the age of 18.

We often think of these changes as ones that affect us physically and affect our actions. While we are correct to do so, we also forget that throughout all of these changes, every single person is experiencing the world in many different ways in many different places. Some of us have a jolly old time filled with success and happiness while others don’t. Some people may struggle with their mental health, the loss of someone special to them or the breakup of a family.

The experiences we have shape how we see the world. This doesn’t mean that those who lose a loved one see the world as cruel, it means that people interpret their experiences in different ways and act accordingly to how they interpret things.


When thinking about those who have changed, there is a tendency to look at them with scorn and distaste. They aren’t who they used to be – now they’re cruel and are the person they never wanted to be. In some cases, they are barely recognisable. And it hurts – especially if you were close.

However, what you have to realise in order to put your mind at rest is that none of it is your fault. Time makes the heart grow. In the process of growth, people may grow towards one side of the sun and others may grow to another side of it. The change in direction is a change in personality and views, meaning that some people grow apart from who they used to be, leaving us behind.

There is no need for you to wonder what you could’ve done differently – it’s not your fault. You also shouldn’t blame them too much as they have interpreted things differently for different reasons. It’s also not your responsibility to hold them back or prevent those who won’t accept your help from making mistakes.

Some people are heading on an entirely different path to yours and unfortunately, that is life. Not every person is meant to be in there with you. They come and go, teach us things and leave us things. That is life. And it’s not your fault.

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