The Three Stages of a Break-Up

24 July 2019

By Lauren E. White

Break-ups are not easy, and they happen for a multitude of different reaons. Everyone deals with them in different ways, too. Some people feel the need to be with someone else immediately straight after, some people shut themselves away from the world for a while, and some people decide to go out and get absolutely hammered. However you deal with a break-up is entirely your decision, but there are three identifiable stages that everyone goes through eventually.

Stage 1: The heartbreak…obviously

Heartbreak is an inevitable part of a break-up, and it comes first. You feel sad, alone and lost. Whatever are you going to do without this individual who you’ve lived without for so many years beforehand?

The tears and the chest pain happens during this stage, and you usually feel like it’s never going to end. It is during this stage of a break-up that your friends fill you with lots of hugs and nice thoughts to make you feel better and you listen to sad songs.

Stage 2: The anger…usually

Once you’ve realised that the individual you’ve been crying over for a few weeks actually doesn’t deserve your tears, you start to feel anger. There’s a bit of a fire in your belly, and suddenly you’re not going to take any more of his crap.

The anger you feel usually comes as a result of you finding out something they did, realising they actually didn’t treat you very well at all, and/or realising that they’ve broken up with you in a very inconsiderate way. And good for you – the anger’s therapeutic.

Stage 3: The peace…finally

We never put a time limit on the stages, so peace does come in the end…just at your own pace.

One day, you realise that you don’t think of them every morning when you wake up anymore. You realise that their actions no longer bare any relevance or significance to your life, and you start to feel free.

No longer are you shackled to their memory, and no longer do you have to do the exhausting stages of a break-up, which include using up energy to be angry. The peace comes in the end, and it is beautiful.

Good luck.

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